Whats the deal with Clubs, Hotel and House parties
Many people new to the lifestyle ask us "Are we experienced enough for a club?". In talking to people we have come to understand that many people have many misconceptions about many of the environments. We have decided to write down out thoughts on the subject.
Meeting people one on one
This is definately the more tradional way of thinking. After all, its how we approach tradional dating and therefore it makes sense to us. The big difference is that with the online world of today, most people take to online to meet another couple. They send some emails and chat a bit thru text and set a meeting. Then the nervousness sets in. Maybe this is justified and maybe its just nervs. We think that this type of meeting can be the most stressful. You are going to someplace, ideally a bar or something to meet. There is some pressure as you are locked in a bit on who you are meeting. If it does not go well how do you back out, gracefully? What if they want to take things further and you don't? Some of the things you can do to take the pressure off are to set the ground rules for the first meeting to be just that, a meeting. We often say, there will be no playing on the first meeting. This way, you can go home, talk and decide. Another good suggestion is going to a meet and greet to meet other couples in a group setting, again with no playtime. One on Ones that are built this way can produce long term friends sometimes.
Meet and Greets
Meet and greets are excellent no pressure environments to meet new couples. You are just at a bar with other people you know are in the lifestyle so you do not have to worry about approaching the subject. Lifestyle people are far more friendly than normal crowds, in general. We ahve often gone to regular bars and never talked to anyone. That has never happened at a lifestyle meet and greet. Someone has always said "Hi" to us. Usually the hosts will introduce you to people if you are not talking with other people. Get some contact info, the social site you found the meet and greet works good, just trade profile names.
Hotel parties can be lots of fun. Some are complete take overs where the whole hotel is closed to the publc and some have jsut a floor that is closed. Be sure you know what you are going to. There are lots of people. Everyone is in the lifestyle so no embarrasement aobut who you talk to. Many times there are large groups of people that already know each other and it can be a little intimidating to talk to people as you need to take the first step most times. Do keep in mind that just saying "hi" works great. We usually just say, "Hi, we are Jim and Val". They then need to respond with thier names and we have a converstaion. The party itself usually starts off more mellow but later people rome the hallways nude, swim naked in the pool and hot tub. Many people just leave thier clothes off. there are often open rooms for group play or you cna meet someone and go back to a room for private time. All in all not too bad for new people but it can be a little intimidating to get the ball rolling. Just be a little forward and say "HI".
House Parties and Hotel Room Parties
House parties are a mixed bag. We do not recommend them for newbies unless you already know at least 2 couples attending. Many are very nice and much like hotel parties but much smaller and intimate. Some can be where everyone is naked and its one big orgy. Anytime we hear experienced couples talking about being unhappy about a spouses behavior it is a house party that was too crazy. That being said, we love house parties when we know a good number of the couples going.
Club parties are actually the best place for newbies to start. They really are the lowest pressure situation and you can experience first hand what the lifestyle is all about without having to participate in anything. In many ways it is like going to a bar excpet some people choose to remove some clothing. Again, most people stay clothed in the public areas but it is fully up to you. The environment is smaller so the hosts can take the time to introduce you to other people. At our parties, our bartender, DJ and some select guests work with us to watch for people not talking to anyone so we can go to them and say "Hi". You can chat, dance, have some food and decide to play or not play with someone and there are lots of people to see and meet. If your just curious about the crazy stuff you have heard, you can walk thru the play areas and see some of the open rooms. You'll get an eyeful of what you hear about. The big difference from the misconception is that not everyone needs to parcipate and you do need to go to the play areas to see. It is not just in your face and it is most certainly not high pressure to do anything.
Hope this helps you understand the different types of events you could experience. of cource any particular event has its own personality. This is just a glimpse of a perspective but a good start for understanding.